Emotional Suicide.

Emotional Suicide 

I'm on a downward spiral. Heartbreak is my rival. Happiness is my idol. Waiting for its arrival. Guess it missed my invite. Wish I had the incite. I wouldn't have wasted my time with this damn fight. Downward spiral. My heart is already used too. Battered and bruised. Each heartbreak is too brutal. Even when the heart gets back together. Held together with scotch tape. Even tho glue might be better. But it makes no sense. Gonna crumble again. Another fight I'm gonna lose. So why rumble again. Why put my heart in a position of pain. I try to recover. But over again it keeps getting slained. A stain to my ego. They know i have no equal. This movie I'm done watching it. Too many sequels. So this is my emotional suicide. Throw my heart away before it gets broken again. It puts a smile on my enemies. It's what they are hoping again. But if there is no heart there. How the hell can it shatter? Might as well let them win. Waving the white flag in this matter. Feeling too familiar. So with this familiar feeling. Ripping my heart out. What's the sence of it healing. Watched you while you sleep. And you gave me your cheek. But you were digging me. What the fuck happened in a week. Excuse my French. But it's the same all over the world. Same shit I see. Just a different girl. Why did I think any different. Why did I think things changed. If I had a dollar for every heartbreak. I wouldn't be able to count the loose change. But it's over now. How could I be so heartless. Just remember. I wasn't the one to start this. So it's either throw my heart away. Or try and color with a different crayon. I'll still wear my heart on my sleeve. But this time it'll be a spray on.